I didn’t know what I was missing-When you hit a certain age, it seems like every one of your friends is getting married. A few years later, everyone starts having kids. When you’re 30 years old and not one of the married ones with kids, you start to really wonder if that will ever be you. Some people know they don’t want marriage or kids. Some want it more than anything and it never happens. I was one of the ones who always wanted a family. I wanted a big family. A hockey line I would say, 3 forwards and 2 defenders. Five kids seemed perfect. Five kids would turn into into 10 after marriage and hopefully at least 15 after kids. Fifteen people created all because two people loved each other. How awesome would that be? But when you aren’t married at 30 yo, five kids starts to sound impossible.
Kyle and I got married when I was 34 and he was 32 yo. It actually turned out to be perfect for us. We are both very driven people when it comes to our careers, so getting married and having kids any earlier would have interfered with the goals we had. Don’t get me wrong, people hit pause all the time for marriage and kids and that is amazing. If I had met Kyle sooner, maybe I would have wanted to as well, but the way it worked out for us seemed perfect to me. A few short months after being married, we were blessed with the news of Bekytt. Fast forward to today, and I now realize the amazing club we are automatically a part of. The Secret Society of Parenthood.
I went over to a friend’s house for dinner tonight and although it took a miracle to get there, once I was there it was magical. Another couple and their kids were there as well. Five kids total actually with Bekytt. As the kids played and the adults ate, drank, and shared stories about the real lives of being a parent these days, I sat back and thought how lucky I am to be a part of this. We could share birthing stories, poop stories, spit up stories, what does breast milk taste like stories, and sending your kids into surgery stories. We got to talk and laugh about our kids and our experiences without anyone checking their watch or pretending to be interested because we actually were. No one was on their phone, everyone was present, and it was a great night. If I was still childless, I’m sure I’d want to hear their stories, but I’d feel like an outsider. Being an insider to this parenting club feels better than I thought. Our kids become our world and to be able to have friends (and family) who can cheer with you when your kid poops for the first time in 8 days is wonderful. Seriously. Eight days. Apparently it’s ok for a breastfed baby to go 8 days without pooping. Can you imagine?! Only parents could have an actual conversation about poop and be interested and proud.
I feel incredibly lucky to have joined this club and while 5 kids of our own is likely not in our future, having just one allows me to wear the mom badge and wear it proudly. It has given me more stories than I will ever be able to share and has shown me a love I didn’t even know was possible. Writing about my experiences has reconnected me with old friends who are now parents themselves and that is amazing. While it is incredibly therapeutic to complain about the hard times, it is even better to get some good belly laughs in when your friends’ kid says they know what rhymes with bucket, F$#% it. Kids definitely say the darndest things and I love it! I can’t wait to hear our little man repeat the crazy things we say when we think he can’t even hear us. I’m sure he’ll embarrass us just as much as we embarrass him one day and I just can’t wait. –Kathryn Kraft, MPT</span