It sounds like a high school graduation speech– I remember people telling me this in high school. “Hang on to these moments, one day you will look back and say these were the best days of your life/” Now, I did have a great high school experience and was very lucky for that, but I think many would say the opposite. I think a lot of people hated the drama, the cliques, the judgement and nearly everything that went along with high school. Then I went to college, they said the same thing. At least this time it made more sense because college was pretty amazing. Then it was said to me before I was married and was just dating. It was said to me when I was married and without a child, and now it is said to me even more that I am married and have a baby. What I have gathered from this is that every day at every phase of our lives, can be the best days of our lives. We need to cherish every single day here on Earth because you never know when it is going to be our last.
We have all lost someone in our lives too soon. A friend, a child, a parent. Someone who didn’t deserve to die. Someone we loved so much. Someone who we thought would be with us for a lot longer. Someone we did or didn’t know was going to pass. If you’re like me, in the days that follow a loved one passing, you question “why” too much and think you should have done something different. Yesterday I realized I was lucky to know my mom was going to pass. I was lucky to consciously cherish my days with her. I was blessed to be able to ask her what she wanted to do with those days and live them with her. She didn’t want anything grandiose, most people don’t. All she wanted was to spend time with her kids and sure maybe jump out of an airplane, but chose not to once she realized her bones likely wouldn’t handle it so well. I say all of this because yesterday was a great day for no particular reason at all. Yesterday was great because I decided to be present with all that I did and I lived my day with intention.
I woke up early, blessed to have my husband join me. I was nursing Bekytt while sitting on the floor in our living room, because it happened to be where I sat down to type when he woke. Kyle ever so sweetly came and sat back to back with me so I’d have some support behind me, both literally and figuratively. I almost cried it was so sweet. He continued to spend the morning with us and I was able to shower and get ready for the day and I embraced every minute of it. All it takes to enjoy every moment you are in is awareness you are in it. Being mindful and simply breathing as you notice your surroundings can feel so calming. So refreshing. I realized I had a pretty big to do list though as well, so I put on my Moby wrap and never took it off.
For most of the day at home I wore Bekytt and he loved it. I was able to work standing next to my husband for a few hours with Bekytt just hanging out exploring the world with his vision. I was able to bring him to Happy Bambino and be reassured how well he is doing. Adria seems to make all feeding issues better and she is extremely knowledgeable. I loved my time there soaking up all she had to teach in her calm voice. I was given a feeding tube contraction to try the next time Bekytt refuses a bottle and was reassured in his weight gain and volume of feedings. I walked away feeling very at ease with how Bekytt is doing. Since baby wearing was going so good yesterday, I even wrapped him in and went for a walk to get a latte at Crema Cafe and shop at the Madison Crafts and Gift Shops, which is amazing, while he slept after his longest feeding yet.
The day continued to be great as I thought this would truly be the year I buy everyone’s Christmas gifts from a local store. This store. This store is home to 185 vendors with unique and useful items. It’s a one stop shop in my mind. The mittens I bought from the Mitten Farm vendor are made from recycled wool sweaters. These alone made my day. I may be partially obsessed with them They are warm and cozy and only $24. Love them. I finished my day by driving way out of the way to pick up our CSA. I had to stop to feed Bekytt on part of the Ice Age Trail I went so far, but it was a very peaceful adventure. Fall days in WI are gorgeous and we have plenty of farms to drive by.
I say all of this because I truly believe every stage of our lives can be the best days of our lives. I was instructed early on never to wish my days away. Never to say “I can’t wait for summer” to my 10th grade English teacher. Saying something like this would prompt her to tell us wishing and waiting for the future makes us miss something today and so many great things are happening now. We need to open our eyes and pay attention before we wish all of our days away. And she was right. Bekytt is sleeping in my arms right now as I type and I couldn’t feel more blessed. I want to remember how lucky I am to have him and my husband and our family and friends every day. If I were to lose any one of them tomorrow, I don’t want to be wishing I paid more attention today.-Kathryn Kraft, MPT