We will not let our relationship suffer-It’s Friday, date night in my husband and my eyes. No matter what, he’s always made sure to take time for us. No matter how busy we are, what budget we are on, or how tired we are, he always makes sure to take me out on a date at least once a week. I’m incredibly lucky to have his love. Without it, there would be no Bekytt, so we are determined that no matter how tired we get now that we have a newborn or how stressed we are, we will still not let our relationship suffer.
It’s easy to start blaming each other or bickering over nothing when you have a newborn. I’ve heard of so many relationships suffering after they have kids. Sadly, divorce has happened all too many times when a little one enters the world. No judgement to anyone, but I don’t want that to happen to us. We had Bekytt because we fell in love. Yet so many parents put their child above their relationship, put them literally first, and lose sight of their primary relationship.
I was raised by a single mom. My mom was incredible. We literally called her Super Mom for years. Single moms are the most amazing creatures in the world. She was so good at making sure we were not only loved and had everything we needed, but she supported us in every dream we ever had. I never felt like I was missing out on anything. She gave us everything we needed and we had a blast with her along the way. I would not have wanted things any other way. She was my role model. So much so that when I dreamed of having kids and pictured my future, I “wanted” to be a single mom. She was beautiful, hilarious, and so smart. She was the best mom and that’s exactly who I wanted to be. I thought for a long time that I was still unmarried in my 30’s because my destiny was to be a single mom. I would have kids on my own. Then I met Kyle…and my worldview on parenthood changed. A mother and a father…under the same roof…raising the child together. What a crazy concept! It didn’t take long for me to fall in love with him and trust him. Trust him that no matter what he’d always be there for me, for us. It was the first time I saw my future differently. And I liked it.
The only “baby” book I read when pregnant was Bringing Up Bebe. It made so much sense to me. The way the French raise children. Sure their kids are loved, but the kids know they are part of the family, they are not the sole focus of the family. There is still adult time at night, they don’t interrupt adults when talking, there is no “kid” food, they eat what the adults do, and the parents still have date nights and put energy into keeping their relationship alive. Moms still get ready and put makeup on. Kids know what the word “wait” means from the very beginning. Parents are not their friends, they are their parents. I can be French, I thought. We can raise Bekytt to eat puréed meats over rice cereal and have him eat vegetables first at dinner. And we can have date night live on!
We may have missed a week or two here and there since he’s been born, I’m not sure actually…I think your memory is the first to go with lack of sleep. We have bickered over stupid things in stressful moments, BUT we always come back to each other. We always recognize when it happens and we still take time to connect and help each other out. We remind each other of our love frequently and even if things are different for the time being, I believe we will always place our relationship first. We will always take care of us before Bekytt because if we are not a team, if we are not in it together, for better or for worse, our love for Bekytt would suffer, he’d suffer. It’s Friday, and I just wanted to say I love you, Kyle. Thank you for being such an amazing husband and the best dad. We love you and I still love date nights…especially when it’s Culver’s on our kitchen table and we share fries and Coconut Bliss ice cream for dessert! I hope the rest of you moms out there still make time for date night this weekend! You deserve it! –Kathryn Kraft, MPT